mortified mama week one

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So, it is that time of year again. Time to D.I.E.T. Oh my. As part of my... ahem... resolution.... (wow, it hurts to say that) I am kinda-sorta on the diet train.  Who's surprised?  Not me.

So, okay, this isn't a willy-nilly 2011 resolution.  If you'll remember, numero uno on my 30 x 30 list is to weigh 150.  I'm a few pounds away from that.  I'll be 30 in approximately 20 months.  I need to lose about a pound a week to reach my goal in time for my big birthday.  You do the math.

Fine... as a sacrifice to the blog and my lovely readers, I'll do part of it for you.  This week's weigh-in number:


drum roll, please...

233.5 hefty ol' pounds

So... yeah.  I gained a few pounds over the holidays. I also look like a chipmunk in that picture.  But, I'm sharing it anyway.  Who wouldn't?  Lots of people.

After all the Christmas cookies, summer sausage, peanut butter balls, cake truffles, cheese, chips and salsa, ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, southern-style green beans, pastries, cakes, barbeque, sodas, mixed drinks, and more... much more... I'm a little bloated.  That's right, that's all water weight.  Uh-huh.

Two years ago, I joined Planet Fitness.  It was fine, but I can't take my kids.  After some flip-flopping, going here and going there, but never regularly, I'm still a member.  Last year, I bought some more Wii Fitness games so I could work out at home.  The batteries have been dead in my balance board for... forever.  And, I tend to cuss at the faux trainer.  Another flop.

I tend to go at it really strong for a few weeks, drop a few pounds, and then burn out.  This year has to be different.  My plan is to take itty-bitty steps towards better heath.  I'm going to use the Habit Streak app on my new phone (which I got for Christmas) to help me do this.  This week's step is to drink three glasses of water a day.  That's it, just three.  Maybe I'll be inspired to cut back on some of my calories, too, but no pressure or anything.  Just three glasses a day.  I think I can do that.

I might not lose a lot of weight at first, but I'm tired of burning out.  I'm tired of the yo-yo-ing.  I'm tired of looking like a chipmunk, storing nuts for the winter.  Winter's here, and I'm plenty fed.  It's time to drink some water.

one down, 29 (30) to go

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Awhile back, I wrote my 30 x 30 list, of 31 things I want to accomplish by the time I'm thirty. I can now semi-officially mark one of the things off that list, so it is a true 30 x 30 for anyone who's actually counting.

This past weekend, I had a shopping day morning at the mall and tackled my scary hairy caterpillars eyebrows.  Now, this isn't something new for me.  I've gotten my brows waxed a bunch, but I never seem to keep them up, either by plucking or return trips.  Within a couple of months, they are back to their fuzzy-wuzzy selves.  But, this time I'm determined.  I'm going to the salon once a month for the horrid waxing.  I'm ready to grow up and look like a woman, rather than a furry monster.  No more uni-brow for me, ladies. 

When I got home from my morning out, my husband looked at me and asked what was wrong with my face.  He later informed me that it looked like I had been burned by acid.  "What is it with you and your brows?" he inquired.  Apparently, he didn't realize that anyone else ever went and got their brows waxed.  Like, I'm a freak or something.  Well, I can agree that I've been a freak, but only because I go from groomed to hairy in a matter of seconds.  So, here's the question.  Does everyone else pluck at home, or do you go in for regular grooming?  What else do you have done while you're there?  'Cause my brows aren't even the hairiest part of me, you know...

30 x 30

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Not quite a bucket list, because I hope I won't be dying any time soon, but here's my top 30 by age 30 to do's, in no particular order, and assuming I have the cash flow to do so:

1. Weigh 150
2. Run a 5K
3. Go on an overnight backpacking trip
4. Go tubing on the New River
5. Join the straggly adult marching band
6. Walk the length of the Roanoke River Greenway over a weekend
7. See the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person
8. Add a magnolia and a lily of the valley to my tattoo
9. Visit the Biltmore Estate
10. Go out dancing!
11. Learn to can veggies
12. Try Zumba
13. Wear a bikini well.
14. Participate in a habitat for humanity build
15. Take campmaster training
16. Staff Wood Badge (hint... hint... this is invitation only)
17. Maintain “grown up” eyebrows
18. Buy a fabulous dress and eat at a fabulous restaurant with my fabulous husband.
19. Go ice-skating
20. Pose for boudoir photos
21. Go to a hot-air balloon rally
22. Attend the black and white ball
23. Go rock-climbing
24. Bake all of my family’s bread
25. Rent a boat for a day at the lake and invite a group of friends
26. Bake a cheesecake from scratch
27. Re-learn how to rollerskate
28. Ride a bike
29. Hike to Dragon’s Tooth
30. Go to the symphony
31. (just 'cause I'm an overachiever and all) Join the Junior League.