national camp school

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?

I've been to Brown Summit to see the Queen.

Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you do there?

All weekend I did nothing but sit in a chair.

Queen Robin, that is, camp director or lead instructor or something of the Boy Scout's of America's Southern Region Camp School that was held this past weekend.  I suppose she was more of a cowgirl than a queen, but whatever.  And, I didn't quite sit in a chair all weekend, but it certainly felt like it.  

We enjoyed 15 hour days with a few breaks and a few games.  Luckily, the staff was so goofy that we had lots of laughs.  And we won dingle-dangles for our den flags.  So, it wasn't so bad.  But, it was tiring.

I have come home exhausted, with a newfound respect for all the camp directors who put on quality camps each year.  To be honest, I'm still overwhelmed, but I'm going to break down what I need to do into baby steps and try to accomplish one or two a day.  I have three months and one week to pull it together and I will most definitely need all of that time. 

guns at school

Yesterday afternoon, I received a letter from Alex's school stating that they had gone on lockdown at some point during the day.  Apparently, they received word from the local police department that a gun was spotted outside the middle school that is right next door.  Really, just a stone's throw away.  The elementary school, middle school, community college, and a swimming center are all situated on one great big parcel of land. 

Around 4:30 yesterday the local news site reported that the sighting was being investigated as a hoax.  Now, here's my question:

How do they know it was a hoax?

Is it because they have found no evidence to support the contrary?  Is it because they couldn't locate the person with the gun?  Was it a student or an adult?  How close were they to the schools?  Were they on the property or along the road adjacent to the neighborhood?  Or, was it an adult with a concealed carry permit who was headed to a swim class that morning?  There are so many questions here, and so few answers.  I want answers, dammit.

I also would have preferred to have been notified via a phone call earlier in the day, rather than an easily-misplaceable letter after my son returned home from school.  I know other parents feel the same way.  Please, bother me!  Give me information like this that really is necessary!  Send me as many phone calls as you need to so I can ensure that my child is safe!

I am thankful that Alex's last day of public school is a week from today.  Yet, I'm worried that whatever might have almost gone down yesterday, if anything, might just be delayed a day or two.  I would love to withdraw him today, on grounds that the school is inept at notifying the parents when there really could be a problem.  Would I have been there to pick my child up in a heartbeat?  You betcha.  (not a Palin fan, but leaving that anyway because I said it first.)  Did the school system likely want to prevent that?  Oh yeah.  (totally a Kool-aid man fan, though).  

This reminds me of something similar that happened in high school, during the Columbine era.  But, that's a story for another day.

where we are

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Just about two months ago, Alex was "diagnosed" with ADHD. I use the term "diagnose" loosely because the conclusion was mainly based on a discussion between his doctor and me, as well as a couple of surveys filled out by both myself and his teacher. However, I do think the description was an accurate one.

I have recently been doing a lot of reading about his condition, and I firmly believe that his attention and hyperactivity levels are different from those of other children.  I have no doubt that he has trouble actually controlling himself at school, home, and extracurriculars, though he may want to do the right things.  I am learning that his sloppy handwriting, fibbing, emotional outbursts, high energy level, lack of apparent concentration on schoolwork and Scout lessons, moodiness, and intensity are directly related to the differences in his brain that are referred to as ADD or ADHD.

 As a treatment, Alex is currently taking Ritalin SR.  His dosage will increase tomorrow because the medication seems to be wearing off by the end of the school day.  While the pills have altered his behavior enough to begin seeing improvement in his Citizenship grades, as well as enabling him to stay in Spanish class, they appear to be ineffective in the afternoon hours, during chess, homework, and Scouting activities.  This continues to frustrate me, but I'm hoping we will find the right dosage and combination of pills to allow my son to perform to the best of his abilities.

I am also concerned about Alex's school performance.  Though he his excelling in History and Science, I worry about the basics that must be learned through rote memory.  The math, language skills, Spanish vocabulary, and handwriting are still at a low point. Though Alex isn't performing up to the standards of a typical fourth grader in his basic subjects (Reading Comprehension, Writing, and Math),  he continues to make high marks on his report card.

Alex has always been on the A/B Honor Roll.  He has always brought home very high marks.  This says something about the lowered standards of the Roanoke City School System.  How can a fourth grader who refuses to learn long division and has not yet memorized his times tables receive A's on his report card?  Why is he being passed along, with NO remediation?  At one point will he be so far in over his head, having never learned the basic skills as a youngster, that he begins to fail the more advanced classes he will undoubtedly take in middle and high school?  At one point will he be so frustrated with his lack of basic knowledge and reading comprehension abilities that he shuts down and chooses to take lesser courses out of fear of failing?  Or, will he attempt to drop out altogether, as do approximately 37% of Roanoke City students.

ADHD does not have to be a sentence to failure.  However, if I don't quickly find the right way to help my child enjoy learning, and excel at the troublesome subjects, he will surely be set up for a lifetime of underachievement.  I know there is a way he can learn this material.  I just need to find it.  And, I need to find the support for doing so.

As an aside, I must admit that the teacher Alex has right now has been the best teacher he has had at his school by far, but it still isn't enough.  He's not getting it.  And, because of his continued high grades, I fear he is slipping through the cracks.

where do we go from here?

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I've had it. I'm at the end of my rope with Alex.  His behavior is effecting all aspects of life.  He refuses to behave at school, and he's equally atrocious at home.  I just don't know what to do with him anymore.

We're going to the doctor on Wednesday.  I've been struggling with the idea of having him tested for ADHD and whatnot since he started school so many years ago.  I thought it was just a behavior thing.  I thought that, if I were a better mother, I could avoid putting him on medication.  I thought that he needed different types of consequences, that I wasn't doing a good enough job at trying to control him.

I have come to realize, over the course of the last few weeks, that he is beyond control.  That no matter what punishment I utilize for his misbehavior, it will do no good.  That I need outside help.

I picked up the Vanderbilt form from the doctor's office yesterday.  Out of all the "symptoms" on there, that we have to rate on a scale of 0 (meaning never) to 3 (meaning very often), he received a 2 or 3 on all but a few questions.  That's for the parent form.  Maybe the teacher will have a better view of his actions.  But, I doubt it.

I suppose we're "lucky."  At age nine, he has never stayed away from home overnight, or run away, or stolen anything.  But, that's about it.  I even had to answer for the question about setting fires.  Though he has never succeeded, I did find burnt matches in his room about a year ago.  We camp a lot.  We have matches.  But, Alex knows better than to play with them.  At least, I thought he did.

At school, he is causing his teacher so many headaches.  Recently, she told me that she feels as if she is his prison warden.  I know how she feels.  Whenever her back is turned, Alex does something that is completely out of line.  From jumping out of his seat, to hitting other kids, to talking back or not turning in homework.  He is always in trouble.

There was a bright point over the summer when we received a letter that stated that, due to his reading scores, Alex had been chosen to participate in the Spanish program at school.  The other night, I received a phone call from his Spanish teacher.  If his behavior does not drastically improve over the course of the next week, my son will be kicked out of Spanish.  What an honor.

This misbehavior is carrying over into family life, too.  We can't do anything as a family, ever, because Alex is always being punished for something.  He has to sit aside during Scout meetings because, as his den leader, I cannot control him while tending to the other boys.  He violently argues with my husband and me.  He talks back.  He lies.  He cons us into thinking his done his homework, using elaborate plans.  He always has a bad attitude.

So, now we wait until our appointment with the pediatrician.  I no longer even have the heart to tell Alex to behave and have a good day when he gets out of the car in the mornings.  I know that it won't do any good.  I feel as if I am trapped with this disobedient child, someone I desperately love, but I do not know how to help.  I fear for my daughter, who has to see the struggles within our home, and I worry about the implications this will have on her development.  I long for a happy family.  That is my one, most desperate, Christmas wish.

**Photo Credit  Frayed by Perry French on flikr.

picture day

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Today's picture day at my son's school and I actually did it: I sent him to class without his picture form and check. And, I did it on purpose. I can hear the audible gasp from parents everywhere. Why would I do something like that? Well, for several reasons.

First, we don't have all that many people to give the portraits to. The school picture package is great if you have a huge family with which to share portraits, but we don't. At least, we don't just randomly send them school pictures in the mail.

Second, the package that we normally purchase used to be $17 and we got a couple of 5x7s and maybe a couple of wallets. When I looked at the price list this year, it was going to be a minimum of $30 to purchase any package that contained anything of a frame-able size. Sorry, but that's too much.

That leads me to my third reason. Parents are required to pay for the portraits sight-unseen. We just send in a check and pray that the picture will turn out half-way decent. We can only hope that the photographer will take more than 30 seconds to plop each student in front of an ugly blue screen, point, and shoot.

Also, the past few years we've gone to a portrait studio for professional Christmas pictures. It might just be a mall studio, but the photographer actually takes the time to work with each client. I am much more pleased with the portraits that we purchase, though we obviously spend more than Lifetouch charges for sit-and-shoot school portraits.

Though I have all these great reasons as to why we shouldn't buy school portraits this time (not even to mention that now they take them in the fall and again in the spring), I feel a bit guilty for sending Alex in without his form. I don't want him to think that we don't love him enough to buy his portraits. Obviously, we do. We just don't want to be strong-armed into buying something of lesser quality.

the early bird washes the trash

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source

Dear alarm clock, I hate you.  Hate is not a strong enough word for the loathing I feel every morning when you wake me.  My patience wears thin as you continually beep at me, urging me to leave my nice, warm bed.

Today started off wrong.  I can't stand that Alex has to be at school at 7:30 each morning and that I have to drive him there, across town.  Especially considering that a bus that goes to his school drives right past our house every morning, but the school system can't be bothered to pick him up.

7:30 would be understandable if the time change was to allow for a longer school day, but it isn't.  The powers that be just decided that elementary students work better at the crack of dawn, while their high school counterparts should be allowed to sleep the day away.  What about the parents?  I don't want to get up at 6 am any more than someone who is ten (or more) years younger.

Of course, I probably wouldn't agree with the school start time even if it was to accommodate more educational hours because the school system wastes a lot of the hours they do have.  Teaching kids to use Ipods?  Pish-posh!  Taking an hour a week to wash out juice pouches for recycling?  Even more unnecessary!  Come on, can't that be done in an after-school recycling club or something?  I mean, really!  They can't add 2 and 2, but they sure can wash trash.  Give me a break.

So, my morning got off to a bad start as I contemplated the real reason as to why I was getting up at the ass-crack of dawn even though I'm a stay at home mom and really shouldn't have to.  Snuggling is my thing.  Driving out in the cold rain to get my kid to school an hour and a half earlier than a decent start time is not.

the first one was a mistake

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At least, it was about a mistake.

This week, the SITS Girls are going Back to Blogging.  You can read more about this endeavor on their main blog.  As always, the purpose is to improve our blogs.  The twist is that this week is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances, and one lucky gal is going to win big.  Real Big.  As in, a brand new turquoise washer and dryer set from Electrolux.  Now, wouldn't that look fancy in my new bathroom?

So, today's assignment is to repost your first blog post.  The following was originally posted on Mrs. Hull's Musing's on April 9, 2007.

Uh-oh 

So I am pretty sure I failed my math test that I took last week.  The teacher handed them back today.  I didn’t get mine because I was allowed to take the test one day late in the Learning Technology Center and they haven’t sent it to him yet.  He went over the test in class and I am certain that I actually missed all the ones that I thought I understood, and of course I couldn’t have gotten credit for the ones I left blank.  I’m hoping he’ll let me write a paper or something for extra credit as I really, really, really need that A…

Did I get the A?  I don't remember.  I do know that my final grade was an A for that class.  It was a math class, Mathematics for the Liberal Arts, in fact.  It was taught by a Mr. Fightmaster.  He was quite the character, but I liked him after I got used to his eccentricities.

But, back to the topic at hand.  That was my first post, and I like it.  It reveals my insecurities,, my worry, and my tendency to jump into projects with two feet, as if I've been involved all along. 

However, if I could rewrite it, and I actually did, when I started this blog, I would take more time to introduce myself, explain why I was writing, and address the reader.  Of course, at that time, I didn't think there would be any readers.

tales of a fourth-grade something

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Dear Son,

You are starting fourth grade today.  Look at how you've grown!  You're no longer the little guy, the sweet kindergartner off to start his first day of school.  You carry a biohazard messenger bag, as opposed to that long-forgotten Thomas the Train backpack.  Your printing is not crooked and haphazard and you are starting to write in cursive.  You have friends to go off and play with.  You have stories to tell.  You are becoming a top-dog.

Yet, in some ways, you are still my little boy.  You like hugs and kisses, but don't tell the other guys.  You seek attention and appreciation.  You still want me to pack your lunch and you like to be tucked into bed at night.  But, you'll soon grow out of these things.

I hope you have a wonderful first day of school.  Make new friends and greet others with a smile.  Tell your jokes and tales of summer camp, vacation, and diving into the lake.  Be a big shot, but don't get a big head.  Do your very best.  Know that your father and I love you.  We're proud of you, son. 

once upon a time...

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debt-free U for who?

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$257 a week.  That's only a few lattes, right?  No, your lattes don't cost nearly that much?  Well, neither do mine.  

However, according to Zac Bissonette, the young author of Debt-Free U: How I Paid for an Outstanding College Education without Loans, Scholarships, or Mooching off my Parents, claims that a student can go to a state college, pay $13,000 a year out of pocket, and complete a college education without going into debt.  Apparently, he did it.  This does sound like a great idea, but I don't think it is entirely feasible for most families.

First off, a mere $257 each week adds up to $1028 per month.  Who has that just laying around? While I like the idea of sending a child to college without having to also send him into debt, we don't have an extra $1028 laying around each month.  Do you?  Even in ten years, when my son is college age, I doubt we'll have that much extra money to pay for college out of pocket.  And, to do that for four years, then turn around and do it again when my daughter reaches 18?  No, I don't think so.  Especially not considering we'll be paying off my husband's college loans for some time.  For us, $1028 is equal to the cost of two car payments and an incredibly plush grocery bill each month. 

Furthermore, a quick internet search shows me that the total cost of tuition (which doesn't include books or a comprehensive meal plan) for a student at Virginia Tech, the state college closes to me, is $15,748, $2,748 more than Bisonnette quoted during his interview this morning.  So, that actually works out to $302.86 per week, or $1211.44 each month.  Now, we're looking at our car payments, our typical grocery bill, satellite tv, internet, telephone, and maybe even gas.  That's right, most of our monthly expenses, sans mortgage.  

Besides that, I still think that having your parents pay for college out of pocket is definitely considered "mooching."  Now, I will readily admit that I have not read the book, but I don't think any student is going to be able to go to college and work, bringing in over $1200 each month.  At least, not legally.  A prostitute might be able to do it, but she'd have to be awfully talented. note: I am not advocating prostitution as a career.  maybe, though, as a hobby. 

Therefore, this guy's idea seems to be completely unreasonable in today's economy for all except the very well-to-do.  And, if you're that well off, why couldn't you pay for it up front anyway?  Do you really need a manual?

monday briefs

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Katie is nearing two and it isn't too difficult to tell.  Her favorite words are eh-eh and uh-uh.  I have to admit, some days (like today), the temper tantrums drive me crazy.  I am trying to take it in stride and not let it get to me too much, but some days are harder than others.   

I think I'm going to be in for it today because we're going to have a stressful time anyway.  Alex is having two baby teeth pulled because they're blocking four permanent teeth from coming in.  The appointment is in less than two hours and I'm a bundle of nerves. 

Alex starts school next week.  He'll be in the fourth grade, which I can hardly believe.  But, I'll be happy to have my quiet time back.  When he's in school, I get a decent chunk of time to myself while Katie naps, during which I can catch up on a favorite TV show, mop the floor, or take a nap myself.  When Alex is not in school, I lose that time.  Earlier this summer, I tried instituting a quiet time during her naps, when he would have to go read in his room, but that didn't last long.  I'd rather have him under foot, I suppose, than complaining in his room, quite loudly, and ruining the time for me.

Another benefit to Alex going back to school is that he won't be around to pester Katie so much, either.  She has really taken a disliking to him recently.  I'm not sure why, but it may be because she has found him to be annoying.  Or, maybe she's just nearing two.  I admit, I can't stand to hear her screech at him, so most of the time I just beg Alex to keep the peace.  I worry that I'm raising a tyrant.

Speaking of tyrants, we found out who Alex's teacher will be this year.  I think I'll call her Mrs. S.  Alex says that she's a mean lady, for which I am thankful.  He needs someone to be strict with him.  In past years, his teachers have been total pushovers, so maybe, just maybe, he'll actually learn something this year.

And, with that, I must run.  Little Miss Kate just dumped her bowl of cereal sans milk on the floor in order to have the opportunity to "dee up."  Darn Barney and his clean up song.

Update: Alex did really well at his dental appointment.  I'm just gagging because this is the gateway to orthodontics.  

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